Stuart Brazell had already given birth to two boys when she convinced her husband to try for a third baby, certain that this time she would finally have the girl she had always dreamed of.
Brazell imagined the little girl so vividly that during sound baths she imagined them running together through a lavender field.
But when she found out she was expecting another son, the Los Angeles mom was devastated.
“I just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed,” Brazell recalled.
She filmed her emotional reaction and later shared it on TikTok, joining other parents publicly documenting their disappointment when the gender reveal confetti turns blue.
Three years later, she adores her boys, now aged 8, 6 and 3. Her youngest, she told the Post, is “the best thing that ever happened to her” and even bears an uncanny resemblance to the girl she once dreamed of.
“But I will never have the opportunity or privilege to raise a daughter and have that special bond that I had with my mother,” she admitted, although she felt lucky to conceive naturally in her 40s.
“I will forever cry about not having a daughter. I think about it daily. Several times a day. I cry about it regularly.”
Brazell’s complicated feelings are part of a larger conversation about “gender disappointment,” which increasingly manifests itself in elaborate baby reveals that bring expectant parents to tears — and their reactions rack up millions of views on TikTok.
Once seen as the coveted heir of the family and the one who would carry on the family name, baby boys receive a decidedly less warm welcome in some corners of modern parenting.
Amid tense discussions about masculinity, gender roles and the challenges of raising sons, research suggests the age-old preference for boys may be losing its grip.
Until 2011, research consistently revealed that when asked, most people preferred having a son. But a 2018 Cornell University study suggests that the long-standing preference for boys is in decline.
“This is driven by a social media and media-generated narrative about toxic masculinity that has become pervasive and self-perpetuating, but is really not grounded in biological facts,” Heidi Murkoff, author of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” told the Post.
However, the numbers look increasingly rosy.
A 2025 Gallup International survey of nearly 45,000 people in 44 countries found that 19% of women preferred a daughter, compared to just 12% who wanted a son – although around two-thirds had no preference.
This preference even showed up in adoption decisions, where studies showed that prospective parents favored girls so strongly that this preference equated to a $16,000 difference in adoption costs.
And some fertility doctors say they see it themselves.
Dr. Brian Levine, of CCRM Fertility in New York, told the Post that he has anecdotally seen an increase in the number of patients seeking IVF girls.
“Much of this increase in my practice is due to international patients traveling to the United States for their fertility care, as gender selection is heavily restricted globally for non-medical reasons,” Levine said.
For Ruthy Jungreis, mother of four daughters, the apparent reversal is striking.
When she had children, her friends and relatives practically offered their condolences every time she welcomed another daughter, reassuring her that a son would eventually arrive.
But Jungreis, who never had a boy, told the Post she wouldn’t see it any other way.
Her four daughters grew up sharing the same interests, from cinema to family vacations, and remain incredibly close – a bond she says might have been different if she had been raising sons.
Her daughter Gayil Jungreis, 29, of New York, has an even stronger opinion and admitted to being disappointed in her gender when she found out her first was a son.
“Parents need at least one daughter, but I don’t think they ‘need’ a son,” she told the Post.
Gayil, who grew up with three sisters, believes that girls are the glue that holds families together, especially when children grow up, get married and start families of their own.
“In general, girls keep a close-knit family,” she said, adding that she thinks girls facilitate relationships with grandchildren and in-laws.
For some mothers, the desire to have a daughter is not just about raising a little girl, it is also about the lifelong relationship they imagine sharing with her.
But is the baby boy reaction really as widespread as social media suggests?
Murkoff is not convinced.
Within the What to Expect community, which includes about 15 million pregnant women and new moms, frank conversations about gender disappointment are common — but Murkoff told the Post she hasn’t seen a discernible anti-boy bias.
“Much more often, the disappointment comes from parents finding out they are expecting another baby of the same sex – the 3rd boy or 4th girl,” she explained. “Or the disappointment of older kids who had their heart set on a little sister, only to bite into a blue cupcake. Make you cry.”
“I am more concerned that the media is fueling negative perceptions that are not based in reality,” she continued. “Every boy is different and every girl is different. Birth order has an influence, as does personality.”
But understanding gender disappointment may require looking beyond the initial reaction.
“Gender disappointment isn’t really about whether the baby is a boy or a girl. It’s about giving up on a future that you imagined for yourself,” Giulia P. Davis, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told the Post.
Murkoff also cautions against any presumption that women and girls are better than men and boys.
“Yes, men aren’t born to be caring, but neither are women – it’s a combination of nurture, but also nature.
“Expecting and new fathers experience a surge in estrogen and a decline in testosterone – they produce oxytocin, just like moms, when they snuggle skin-to-skin with their babies. It’s nature at work – to me, that’s a much more powerful influence than any male-bashing social media narrative.”
For Bret Green, a 39-year-old Nashville father raising a young son and daughter, the growing negativity surrounding boys is missing an important opportunity.
He understands why women who have had difficult experiences with men may feel apprehensive about raising sons. But rather than fearing what their boys might become, he believes parents have the opportunity to shape a better generation of men.
“Recently, I’ve seen more women show their disappointment when it comes to a guy,” Green told the Post. “I see having a son as an opportunity to put things right,” Green told the Post. “My son can be one of the good ones. It’s my responsibility and that of my wife.”
Brazell feels that responsibility, too, even though raising three rambunctious boys sometimes feels like a nightly wrestling match.
They accidentally broke his nose and even damaged his surgically corrected eyesight.
But behind this turbulence, she insists, her boys are “so full of love”.
“I find it interesting that now people prefer girls, or this idea that girls are easier to raise,” she said, adding that she thinks people might find girls more practical.
“They’re too loud, there’s too many of them. It’s a bigger challenge to raise good young men. It’s a challenge for you to bring wonderful men into the world.”
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