Rob Feeley is sitting in his car.
He takes the Zoom call from the driver’s seat, two days before the Season 11 reunion of “Love Is Blind” drops on Netflix — and almost two years after the night that transformed him from fan favorite to the most talked about man on the Boston edition of the dating series. He’s scheduled the meeting and the first thing he wants to do is get some of the history of the Internet straight.
“I’m the Walmart Travis Kelce,” he jokes when asked if the Kansas City Chiefs tight end or Taylor Swift has ever talked about the resemblance that launched a thousand memes. “I’m a lot less sporty and I have a lot less money.”
It’s the kind of self-deprecating line that made Feeley, a 40-year-old AI infrastructure salesman, easy to get into the pods. It was there that he fell in love with retail executive Michaella Giorgio and became engaged. But we saw something different at the reunion, as he leaned forward on the couch, elbows on his knees, waiting for a beating that never really happened. It turns out that Michaella saved most of her fire for beekeeper Matt Waldrip, who she had been quietly dating after filming.
What happened this season was a countdown. During the cast’s first reunion in Boston, Feeley spiraled, lashing out at Matt, rejecting the “experiment” and daring viewers to call it off. Before that, a dinner with her five closest friends had left Michaella sitting through a barrage of comments from one of them, her friend Jay. After all this, the engagement did not survive.
In his exclusive exit interview with VarietyFeeley alluded to a series of losses in the year leading up to filming. During our conversation, he lays them out clearly: a long-term relationship ended, he lost his job, two of his best friends died, and his father was in hospice care.
“I’m a human being like the rest of us,” he said. “One of my worst moments was filmed on Netflix.”
Feeley also talks about why he almost skipped the reunion, his 78-year-old mother who almost flew across the country to sit in the audience and whether he would ever do a dating show again.
You were a fan favorite at the start of the season, then you became the most talked about person on the show, all in one episode. What was it like when you opened your phone after this episode aired?
Man, I couldn’t even really watch it. This has been on my mind for a year and eight months. It was one of the hardest times I’ve ever experienced, probably as a person. I watched it before it came out because I had to go film the reunion, but when it aired I still had to play at work and everything. All the text messages, all the online hate. I’ve never really experienced that. I got Twitter tweets early on, when they first called me “mama’s boy” and “AI this.” But I knew it would be a different level. It was a difficult time, to be completely honest. This is still the case.
Many people were touched by the way you spoke about your mother and father. I also lost my father in the last two years, so that hit me hard. Looking back, was it too early to put yourself in that kind of vulnerable position?
I’m a person who bottles things up, and it wasn’t just my dad. This is not an excuse. I didn’t know they were going to publish my exit interview, and I wasn’t trying to excuse my behavior by attributing it to losses. But subconsciously, I probably wasn’t in the right mental space.
The sequence was a bit crazy. My long-term relationship broke down. I left the house. At the same time, I lost my job. Then my best friend died. Then my other best friend died. And then my father was in the hospice. I’m trying to keep my head on straight and I put my name in the hat for “Love Is Blind.” I had never watched the show in my life, to be completely honest. I just wanted to find love.
I think all these things came pouring out on me without me even knowing it. You tell yourself, “Everything will be fine. Keep moving forward. You’re a man. Keep moving forward. This is a good opportunity.” But I didn’t know what all this entailed. No phone, sequestered, all that. With my anxiety, it was a pressure cooker. There were nights alone in the hotel room where I talked to my father.
At the top of the reunion, you said you weren’t even going to come. How close did you come to not showing up?
Out of respect for Michaella, I owed it to her to come and speak. She and I have talked since the show, but I felt like I couldn’t leave her on an island. Whatever she had to say about the way I behaved publicly, she deserved a public explanation. That was a big part of it.
But who wants to go in front of America and be a punching bag? But I was ready for this. Be a man at night, be a man in the morning. Michaella deserved me to go to the meeting.
You talked about leaving for 50 days after everything was revealed. Was it a program or did you isolate yourself?
It wasn’t a program. I was depressed. You can ask my friends. I was full of anxiety. I didn’t go into my basement to self-isolate for 50 days. I just worked out, stayed away from a lot of things, didn’t go out, didn’t drink at all, ate well. And I asked for advice. A psychiatrist. I was like, “Okay, I have to do this right. » I could have shown up at one place in those 50 days. I was very focused, focused on my mental healing, because it was a very, very difficult experience for me.
At the reunion, you seemed grateful to have made this change through therapy. I think it’s important for men to see men like you giving their approval. Are you still working there?
Absolutely. I just met with my psychiatrist last night. The only thing I would tell people is that it’s not a two or three day thing. We can’t give up after two or three months. You have to go there continuously.
I have suffered from severe anxiety my entire life. When I was very young, my mother put me in for a consultation and the lady said to me: “Take your temperature and say it like that” and I felt like I could outsmart her. I had very severe separation anxiety with my mother and my little brother. My psychologist told me that anxiety is just another word for fear. You are afraid of the unknown. And that’s a lot of what happened in “Love Is Blind.” If you’re going to therapy, don’t go in three times and punch him. It takes a long time to really get the treatment.
I was surprised I didn’t see your mother at the meeting.
Funny story. She is 78 years old. I bought a house this year and moved my mother into my in-laws’ apartment because her landlord was putting strain on her and raising her rent. So I still joke that I live with my mother. I have no ego.
She was supposed to come to Los Angeles with my brother. I go down to her apartment and she has her clothes laid out on the bed, so cute and stressful, like a child going on vacation. She just wanted to support me. And I said, “Mom, if you’re doing this because you think I need you there, I appreciate it, but I can’t put you on a cross-country flight to have anxiety.” And I’m glad I didn’t, because that recording was six hours long. It would have been upsetting for her. It wasn’t fair to my mother. God works in mysterious ways. My best friend came in her place with my brother.
I think your mother might be one of the favorite parents in the “Love Is Blind” story.
The only thing is authenticity. He is a genuine person.
Back to “dinner” with Michaella and your friends. What was it like watching this episode and what were the conversations with your boys like afterwards?
I wanted to bring five of my close friends because they are very important to me. People asked me why I didn’t bring women. I just wanted her to meet my core group of close friends. I didn’t know my only friend (Jay) was going to behave this way. I didn’t know he had been drinking before.
Seeing him again was a complete embarrassment. I was ashamed. My friend is completely embarrassed. There’s no part of him that finds it funny. At the time, I didn’t know how serious it was. When I saw it again, I was like, “What the hell, Louise.” Michaella didn’t deserve to sit there and listen to this bullshit. They are men of integrity. I know these guys are good people. If I could change it, I would change it 100 times out of 100.
He and I had a serious, earnest conversation. I can assure you he feels 10 times worse than me. He still hasn’t come back to himself. It affected us, it affected the families. It doesn’t reflect who we are. The only person I care about in this whole thing who had to listen to this bullshit is Michaella. I apologized to him and continue to do so.
And no excuses for Jay. But it might come out later, so I’ll say it. He is also battling stage three lung cancer. It was also around this time. He’s in remission now, but I don’t know where his head was at that time and that’s not excusable at all. I just know that right now he’s not in a good place. No one is more embarrassed than him and me by this scene. And obviously Michaella. It was difficult to watch.
Michaella said at the meeting that part of it was your paranoia. You said it was the cameras. Do you have a feeling she will be seen as “the one that got away?” »
It would have been great to meet in a different environment. I didn’t behave properly under pressure. I love who Michaella is. He’s an incredible human being. I think the world of her… still does. I told him I’m here for you when you need me, and I mean it.
I told him: “You deserve better than me. There’s going to be someone…
Gn entert
