A concerned grandmother sees one grandson working hard while another does nothing, so she plans a reality check to find out where his choices might lead him.

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Supporting an adult child forever is not always possible.

A grandmother worries that her unemployed grandson has no plans for independence.

His parents recognize the problem but never follow up.

She plans a very direct conversation.

Find out how it all happened.

I have 4 adult grandsons, ages 20 to 27. 3 of them are employed; the middle one is not.
“Bob” says he’s trying, but no one will hire him because he’s disabled.
His brothers say the opposite: he makes no effort to benefit from the assistance available, he just eats, sleeps and plays video games.

Say it with me: Laaaazy.

The fact is that his younger brother has the exact same disability, but he has been working since he was in high school, first as a work-study intern, now as a part-time employee and hopes to move to full-time as soon as his probation period ends. He has already won performance bonuses.
His father “Jim” is not in very good health and has a family history of premature death due to heart disease. Jim takes great care of his health and is already several years past the age at which his own father died, but the possibility is still there.
My grandson seems to think that he can continue as he is indefinitely, that mom and dad will continue to provide for him forever.

Oh boy.

We spoke to his parents several times, both when we saw him being born as a child, and again when he became a young adult.
That they need to light a fire under his ass and insist that he actually start looking for work. They agree that yes, they do, but apparently they can’t or won’t follow through.
WIBTA if I told him directly that his parents wouldn’t live forever and that he needed to grow up, become an adult and start earning a living?

Now she’s turning to Reddit to decide whether some blunt honesty would be excessive…or long overdue. The verdict? Yes, yes, it would be the AHs.

This person explains it to them.

Screenshot 2025 12 10 at 9:00:13 e1765384831226 A worried grandmother sees one grandson working hard while another does nothing, so she plans a harsh reality check to find out where her choices could lead.

This person says they are selfish.

Screenshot 2025 12 10 at 9:00:18 AM e1765384837500 A worried grandmother sees one grandson working hard while another does nothing, so she plans a harsh reality check to find out where her choices could lead.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this article about a kis who cooks and pays his rent, so he doesn’t think he should do the dishes too.

And this person stinks but no, just no.

Screenshot 2025 12 10 at 9:00:24 AM e1765384844519 A worried grandmother sees one grandson working hard while another does nothing, so she plans a harsh reality check to find out where her choices could lead.