Shane Gillis Hosts SNL, Colin Jost Welcomes Navy’s Return to San Diego

Shane Gillis returned for his third SATURDAY Live evening hosting stay, where he revealed Joe Rogan’s nickname and Theo Von propositioned him (“gas station egg”) and his scolding with his “Adolf Hitler haircut”.

The comedian began his monologue by talking about how he wanted to lose weight: “I have to lose weight. It’s disappointing, you know what I mean? When you finally get that big, you’re like, okay, you’re hitting rock bottom.”

Gillis talked about how hiking wasn’t for him, then explained his disagreement with public gyms. “Going to the public gym as a big guy, especially in New York, is a nightmare, man. They’re just the hottest gay guys you’ve ever seen. They’re jacking off and they’re looking at me like, ‘Yeah, that’s right.'” “I know, man,” he says.

“Also, I haven’t been to the gym in so long, I didn’t know women dress like whores now,” Gillis said. “Look, I’m sorry, there’s no other way to describe it. Have you seen it? I’ve seen it. Have you seen the shorts? They’re these neon colored shorts, like artificial, and the wrinkles go around the cheeks and all combine at the asshole. And don’t look, you’re not allowed to look!”

Gillis went on to praise Rogan’s gym, which is equipped with a sauna. He said: “The other day I was in the sauna, I’m sitting there, I’m alone, there’s no one there, so I thought I’ll make myself comfortable. I take my shirt off, I’m in my underwear. About five minutes later there was a knock on the glass door of the sauna which scared me. I thought I was alone. I looked and it was Theo Von and Joe, and they opened the door, and Joe just said, “Hey, Theo said you looked like “a gas station egg.”

“What hurt me the most was when he closed the glass door, I saw my own reflection and I looked exactly like a gas station egg,” he added. “It’s one of the meanest things anyone has ever said to me: ‘You look like a wet, bagged, hard-boiled egg.'”

Gillis said he was used to receiving insults growing up with two older sisters, whom he called “big, fat sisters.” He went on to note that “what really bothers me is that I’m bald straight out of an Adolf Hitler haircut.”

He added: “And it’s not well, because I give a lot of speeches and the facade falls a lot, and there’s no way to adjust it without looking exactly like (Hitler). It’s the only way. I’m not going to (move it), it’s gay. That’s it: either you’re gay or you’re Hitler, and isn’t that where we are as a country?

Later in the episode, Gillis accidentally said the F-word on air during a Dr. Seuss skit in which his character pointed out that his father didn’t want to eat green eggs and ham. “Brother, he’s not a starter. He said he doesn’t fucking,” Gillis said, quickly catching himself, continuing, “Damn! Like them.”

At the end of the evening, the comedian apparently apologized for the mistake. “Sorry for earlier,” Gillis said during his final remarks to close the show.