Are you going to get the job? What will the medical test results show? And what about that ominously vague email your boss sent?
Uncertainty and change have always been difficult to manage, for some people more than others, said Michel Dugas, a psychology professor at the Université du Québec en Outaouais. There is also today’s rapid changes in politics, technology and more.
We can all benefit from being more comfortable with ignorance, he said.
“Uncertainty is a normal part of life, whether it’s our relationships, our health or our finances,” Dugas said. “Learning to manage not knowing is a fundamental skill for quality of life. »
With effort, uncertainty can be not only tolerated, but accepted.
“Wouldn’t it be boring if you always knew what was going to happen?” » he said.
Why uncertainty bothers us
Discomfort with uncertainty exists on a continuum and changes depending on circumstances, said Nick Carleton, a psychology professor at the University of Regina in Saskatchewan, Canada. An unopened box can seem exciting when surrounded by balloons, friends and the smell of cake. Unattended in a subway station, a box looks very different.
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A certain degree of caution makes evolutionary sense.
“People who absolutely loved uncertainty probably went into caves where they shouldn’t have and weren’t able to breed,” he said. “On the other hand, you shouldn’t be too afraid of uncertainty either, because people who never left their safe space are probably starving to death.”
Phones enable our desire to know everything immediately
Jeroen van Baar, a psychiatric epidemiology researcher at the Boston University School of Public Health, and colleagues reviewed 137 studies that have used the same scale to measure “intolerance of uncertainty” among college students since the 1990s. The term describes people whose reaction to not knowing is far more intense than the situation warrants.
They found that average scores had increased significantly.
One theory is that smartphones have made the problem worse by removing many daily opportunities to practice without knowing. You may never get lost again. You can alert someone if you’re late, and you can settle any barroom debates over trivial facts immediately.
“Having a cell phone in our pockets allows us to know almost everything in an instant,” van Baar said. This may have “given us fewer opportunities to become comfortable with not knowing and to see that everything is okay when we don’t know what’s going to happen.”
Train yourself to live without answers
When the line between general discomfort from not knowing turns into anxiety that interferes with daily life, people should seek professional helpDugas said. Treatments may include behavioral experiments that safely expose people to uncertainty.
One of Dugas’ patients, very concerned about his grades, had to wait 48 hours before checking a test result posted online. The patient’s distress was intense at first, Dugas said, but it decreased significantly by the second day.
“New learning can only really happen when you experience what scares you,” he said.
Smaller experiments might include briefly leaving the phone at home or making a low-stakes decision without asking others for reassurance.
When a real problem arises, said Ryan Jane Jacoby, a clinical psychologist and researcher at Massachusetts General Hospital, resist the temptation to rule out any unknowns. When travel plans are disrupted, for example, ask if the problem is within your control and can be resolved.
If it is possible, restrict the possibilities given three or four reasonable options, weigh their pros and cons and make a decision. So avoid reconsidering it repeatedly.
“There’s probably no perfect choice,” she said.
When nothing can be done, Jacoby recommends moving from problem-solving to acceptance. Mindfulness or an absorbing activity can redirect attention from repetitive thoughts to the present.
Think like a child and be open to opportunities for surprises
Embracing uncertainty doesn’t mean ignoring danger, repressing disappointment, or insisting that every setback is positive.
In her book “Comfortable with Uncertainty,” the eminent American Buddhist Pema Chodron writes that: practitioners are warriors of non-aggression who accept never knowing what will happen next.
“We can never avoid uncertainty,” she writes. “This not knowing is part of the adventure.”
Carleton recommended recognizing negative emotions. Then ask yourself if anything valuable could emerge from a disruption, without assuming that it will.
Jacoby suggested remembering what it was like as a child, when surprises were exciting.
“Kids embrace curveballs, and I think as we get older we tend to worry more and think about all the potential uncertainties,” she said.
Dugas adds: “If you are not able to deal with the fact that the universe is uncertain, you are going to have a lot of difficulty being happy and having a good quality of life. »
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EDITOR’S NOTE: Albert Stumm writes about wellness, travel and food. Find his work on https://www.albertstumm.com
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