While John Oliver opened his show relishing the victories (and losses) associated with Tuesday’s midterm elections, he quickly turned the full force of his scathing weekly analysis on Pete Hegseth.
Noting that the Secretary of War oversees an agency with a budget of more than $1 trillion that employs 3.4 million Americans, Oliver pointed out that while Hegseth likes to post performative videos of himself training with military members, he can’t even do an actual kettlebell swing.
Watching the secretary’s video, one fitness expert says, “I’ve never seen anyone be softer and more delicate in their kettlebell swing. It looks like some kind of ballet move.”
Oliver goes on to show the litany of Hegseth’s “no fat” speech, which the host calls: “Less like a piece of inspirational oratory and more like he was reading from a book called, Dr. Seuss for concussed fanatics.”
He discussed the failures of Signalgate, the Caribbean shipping strikes and the war in Iran, as well as his focus on the testosterone levels of the military.
Oliver focused on Hegseth’s “incredibly stupid” personal decisions. These include the refusal to discipline helicopter pilots who flew too low over Kid Rock’s house and the firing of the general who supported the investigation into the incident. Oliver also cites the Secretary of State’s decision to fire “top lawyers in the Army, Navy and Air Force.”
THE Last week tonight The host recalled Hegseth’s less distinguished moments in stunt segments on Fox News: “riding a bull, sumo wrestling and hitting himself in the crotch with a skateboard.”
He then revealed what might be the most ignominious moment of Hegseth’s Fox News on-air career.
“Hegseth missed the target during an ax throwing demonstration,” Oliver said on video of the event. “And (for) people who think, ‘Jesus, that ax could have hit someone,’ guess what?”
Oliver played CNN footage of the ax hitting a marching band drummer in the background.
He then raised a number of “red flags” about Hegseth, even before taking office as the country’s top military official:
- The Christian crusader’s motto tattooed on his arm.
- The fact that he is a member of a church community led by a self-proclaimed Christian nationalist who wants to repeal women’s right to vote
- His settlement with a woman who accused him of sexual assault
- A caustic letter written to Hegseth’s mother “on behalf of all the women…that you have abused”
So how did the Pentagon react when contacted last week tonight for comment?
“Our dealings with the Pentagon this week have at times felt like we’re dealing with a bunch of asshole teenagers,” Oliver said. “When we asked about Hegseth University’s condemnation of diversity, their official response was: ‘The Secretary is absolutely right on this issue.'”
When asked if there was anything else, the host said a Pentagon spokesperson responded, “Expel John Oliver.”
Olivier’s solution? He implores newly elected lawmakers to “remove this fucking asshole” from high office.
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