RJ Mitte’s mother opens up about her life, rumors and legacy

Dyna Mitte is moving forward step by step.

RJ Mitte’s mother is going through unimaginable heartbreak after discovering her son Monday in his Texas home after committing suicide at the age of 34. Break the bad or his advocacy for the disabled community, and the difficulty of waking up every day without him.

The week ended with RJ Mitte remembered at a Celebration of Life ceremony at the Mitte Center in Brownsville, Texas, where hundreds of people filled the seats (and an overflowing building) to share memories and emotional tributes. Dyna chose not to take the podium because she was more focused on supporting her other child, RJ’s little sister, Lacianne Carriere, and giving others the chance to speak on her behalf.

But a few hours after the ceremony, she got on the Zoom call with The Hollywood Reporter in an effort to honor her only son while offering advice to families who might one day see red flags like she did. “Listen to your children. Watch for the signs. Listen to them, be there for them and be prepared to get help when needed,” she said. Dyna Mitte also wanted to clarify online speculation and rumors about the state of her career and finances, as well as a reported feud with her fiancé.

How do you feel?

I take one step at a time. It is a difficult thing for a parent to lose a child and then face the day of celebration of life. It asks a lot of you. I’m happy to do this (interview), but I’m tired and emotional. I feel a little emotionally beaten, but I think it’s important.

You’re speaking out today in part because you want to help other families who may be struggling. What do you hope people take away from your experience?

It is important for parents to realize that there may be big or small signs. If you notice, even during a conversation, that there are difficulties or questions, really listen to your children and take steps to help them.

You didn’t speak at the celebration of life today. What led you to make this decision and what would you have said if you could have spoken?

It’s hard enough planning a funeral or celebration of life – knowing that you wake up without your son or daughter and will never see or hear from them again. I’m in a slightly different situation because I can watch his films or listen to his speeches, but that in itself is upsetting. Then getting up and sharing all of this with people was not something I felt ready to do on that particular day.

I also have a daughter who is devastated. We didn’t know if she was going to talk, but she wanted to. She went through some tough times throughout the service, so I needed to be there to support her.

There were so many people who could have spoken that we could have stood there for days or weeks. We tried to choose people who were close to RJ and had meaningful relationships with him. I talk about my kids every day and how wonderful they are, so I thought I’d let other people share their memories of him.

Is there a particular moment, memory or comment from the service that stood out to you?

It all happened. Each image in the room had a different meaning for each of us. Family members shared their stories and feelings before and after the celebration, and everyone who spoke honored RJ. The room was filled with producers, directors, casting agents, agents, managers and publicists. For an actor, that says a lot. All these people traveled to be there for him. Everything made sense to me, and I think RJ looked down and understood that it all made sense to him too.

What would it have meant to RJ to see all these Hollywood friends and collaborators in attendance?

Well, first of all, I know there’s been some speculation that his career has taken a nosedive or this and that. And honestly, I want to fix this now. They used to say, “You can go through a thousand auditions before you get a job.” » Well, obviously it doesn’t work that way today. Sure, COVID slowed things down, but things have picked up again. But honestly, RJ has already released three films this year. He has two more to come. He has already signed deals on several new films that he was going to shoot. We were talking about different things. He had a book coming out. He had a food truck that he was starting. There was a lot going on.

To answer the question, I believe RJ saw (the support today). I believe that when we get to heaven, God pulls back the curtains and reveals certain things. I’m sure he pulled those curtains and RJ saw today exactly who was there, who paid his respects. I’m sure he laughed at some things. I’m sure he joked about some things. He was probably the one pulling the back of my hair and making me shake. But I think RJ was incredibly proud, and I’m sure he was crying and hearing all the wonderful things that were being shared about him. RJ would have been proud of every moment.

Thanks for clarifying. I know there have been a lot of comments on social media, some referencing things that happened years ago, including a financial situation involving a rep taking money?

There had also been speculation about a financial situation involving a manager. This happened years ago, had already been resolved, and had no relation to what happened today.

Hearing you talk about all the movies he had coming up, the food truck, everything you’re looking forward to, does that make it harder to understand why he left?

When something is bothering you – whether it’s for an hour, a day, a week or a month – I think people can have moments of weakness. I believe that’s what happened in this case. That’s not to say he didn’t have personal struggles. He had opened up to me, his sister, his family members and his team members. I don’t know what else to say other than it wasn’t something we expected. A mother should never have to reunite with her child like this. It’s a tough pill to swallow.

You said you noticed warning signs and encouraged RJ to seek therapy. What can you tell us about what these signs look like?

These were not necessarily specific actions. It was more about the conversations we had – not just with me, but with his team and his friends. There were concerns. That’s why I encouraged him to talk to a counselor. It’s always good to have an outside advisor, a third party who doesn’t have “skin in the game,” as they say in the South. I told him to talk to a therapist and share his feelings and how he sees things. A therapist could tell him what he saw and heard without having any personal interest in it.

Parents need to listen to their children and watch for the signs. I thought RJ was in a place where we had overcome the difficulty and he was doing well. It wasn’t until he didn’t answer the phone that I recognized this as a red flag because we spoke regularly.

You are such a close family. Finding your beloved son like you did must be traumatic. Do you benefit from support and therapy yourself?

Yes. I’ve already spoken with a therapist about my feelings and everything that’s going on. I have a therapist in Texas, where I live, and another in Los Angeles when I’m there. I had even spoken with a therapist beforehand about the signs and conversations we were having and how to approach these topics.

There has been speculation about RJ’s relationship with his fiancée and reports about who was invited to the celebration of life. Is there anything you would like to clarify?

I can share some things, but some things are private and not my story. I don’t know all the conversations between the two of them. I can say there were struggles, but those conversations were private between RJ and I and between him and his friends. She moved out in December and they had only seen each other three or four times since. I don’t know what those conversations were after he moved. I hadn’t talked to him about not coming to the funeral. She had asked one of RJ’s friends about the day I found my son, but at that point we didn’t even know what was happening. No plans had been made. That’s all I can share about this.

What was RJ like as a child? It must have been pretty special to have been raised to become this advocate and activist who changed so many lives?

RJ was adopted at three days old and was the light of my life. He was a very intelligent child who began speaking with words at nine months. He always performed well and lit up a room with his big smile. He was also laid back and incredibly generous. If another child wanted his toy, he would give it to them. If a child got hurt and started crying, he would go see them. He was passionate and caring from a young age.

His grandparents also had a strong influence. I grew up with a grandmother who was a children’s minister and a mother who worked in education. When RJ and his sister were young, we gave them allowances and asked them to set aside 10 percent as a tithe and another 10 percent in a charitable bank. Every Christmas, they would choose a child from a giving tree, Make-A-Wish, or other organization and spend that money on the child they selected. They learned that because they were lucky, they had to pay it forward. They learned to recognize that other people might be less fortunate and…